Deep
by SpaceRanger
Summary: The thoughts of Ran and Conan-Shinichi on each other...AN: Update chapter 3 again.
1. Deep Thinking

**DISCLAIMER: **_None of the characters in this fic is mine they belong to Gosho Aoyama. The only thing that's mine is the storyline. Hope you enjoy! Comments and complaints welcomed! :-)_

**Author's Note:**_ I hadn't planned to write this. The inspiration came from reading about the magician case in Volume 13 that lead to Ran's determination to find out the truth about Conan. I took a look at Ran's face in one of the comic blocks and I thought I saw something in it that made her change her attitude. I pondered about that until voila, here we are. So read on most of all ENJOY!!! *grins*_

**Timeline:** _This takes place right after Ran left Shinichi's Gate in Volume 14--File 1--Page 6. The title, to clear the confusion is called "Mother and Son." and it's right after the "The Case of the Magician's Clue" in Volume 13. _

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**Deep Thinking**  
  
By: SpaceRanger

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Ran scowled to herself. _Is Shinichi's okaa-san stupid or something?!.__ There is *no* way anyone could look and act *exactly* like Shinichi even if he was the one that taught him. "Conan" is only seven! You can't learn everything he knows in two years, especially since most of us don't remember anything at that age. Even Shinichi didn't know all of what Conan knew at age seven! Unless..._ She started to shake her head but stopped and sighed.

_Aww...who am I kidding? Of course, they'd know. Dr. Agasa must have told them already. After all, his parents have better deduction skills then he much to his dismay._ A wary smile crossed her face.

_At least now, I know where he is...still, I'll probably have to treat him as I would a little brother._ She sighed as she crossed her arms. _It was hard enough doing that when every time I see him I felt like kissing him._ She quirked her lips.

_Hey, another perk. Now I know why I get those strange desires to kiss him too._ She blinked and paused in her walking, finally out of her daze when she heard the sound of laughing children. She smiled as she watched a young long hair girl chase after the boy while yelling at him to stand still in the shadows of the night.

She then saw that the boy was slowing down..._purposely I might add._ She thought with amusement as the girl finally caught up with him and whacked him on the head with a punch.

_Déjà vu._ She thought with irony. _I remember doing that with Shinichi._ The girl looked down at her watch and with a "Ja ne" she ran off into the darkness.

The boy smiled after her with a fond look on his face before turning to gaze up at Ran. She was startled at the boy's appearance as he stepped into the light. The light revealed that the little boy had hair that was more of a brownish tint, just like hers and his eyes were just like hers. Yet, the face seemed to look like Shinichi/Conan's except with a few alterations that she suspected came from her.

"W...who are you?" She asked although she had a feeling she knew. The boy smiled.

"One of these days I'm going to tell her but I don't have the courage to yet. He doesn't either. Demo, I'll always be there, no matter what just like him." She was confused. _What was this boy talking about?_ She heard a yell.

"RAN-CHAN!!!" Ran turned to see her other best friend running toward her with stars in her eyes. "Ran! There's a clothing sale going on now! Come on! We've got to go check it out!!"

"Demo..."

"Come on Ran!" Sonoko pouted at her. "It's no fun to shop without someone else with them."

"Ano..."

"Onegai Ran!" Ran smiled and nodded.

"Alright."

"Yay! I knew you'd agree! Come on I'll show you were it is." With that, she skipped off. Ran turned around to look for the boy and asked his meaning. However, she saw nothing.

"Eh?"

"Ran come on!" She turned to see that the other girl was already waving to her from the corner of the block. She raced forward to catch up and asked,

"Sonoko, did you see a little boy about Conan's age when you came over to see me?" Her best friend shook her head.

"Goman nasai demo Iie." Her face must have fell for she continued on to speak, maybe hoping it would cheer her up, "I only saw you looking at the darkness with a confused expression on you face. You looked lonely too so I decided to ask you to come shopping with me. Demo, you don't have to. I'll just walk you home." Ran smiled.

"Oh...arigotou." Sonoko slung her arm around her.

"Hey, what are friends for? Other then teasing you about your certain denial over a certain boy who's away doing those favorite hobbies of his: Solving crime and making you worry about that idiot. " Ran blushed.

"What no denial now?" She rolled her eyes at her best friend's teasing.

"Oh I'm denying alright...demo, I don't think I'll have to worry about him too much after our little talk." Sonoko's eyes widened as she spluttered with shock.

"NANI?! You saw him and you didn't think to tell me?!!" Ran smiled sadly as she looked up at the moon as both came to a halt in front of her house.

"It was a chance meeting but then he was called away again." She could feel her best friend looking at her with an expression of a sad smile that she knew was for her and Shinichi's predicament.

"What did he say?"

"He told me that..." The flashback of what the little boy said to her played in her mind and she repeated what he said. "He'll always be there...no matter what." Sonoko stayed silent as if she knew there was more then she was telling her. The silence was brief as Ran added with soft fondness in her tone,

" And...you know what?"

"What?"

"I'll always be there for him too." Sonoko look at her best friend, sadly, as she watched Ran walked up the steps of her home, obviously deep in thought. As she watched her friend's figure disappear into the house, she turned to the skies and by chance, she saw a shooting star pass through. Although she normally saved these for finding her own love life with her own "knight-in-shining-armor,¡¨ she decided to try to solve her best friend's. She closed her eyes and wished...

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_Please give Ran and Shinichi the happy ending that they truly deserve..._

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She turned and headed back to her own home hoping that even if she doesn't find her "knight-in-shining-armor" at least Ran, who already has hers despite distance, will have a happy life. 

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_A/N: __ BTW, I'm currently pondering the idea of writing a sequel to this and if I do it would be some time before the Detective Boy's camping trip in which Conan/Shinichi was shot at Volume 25--Case 9--File9 thru 11 and entitled "The Desperate Revival: The Cavern of the Detective Boys." Let me know if you want this sequel. __ Again, comments and complaints welcome._

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	2. Deep Dreams

**DISCLAIMER: **_None of the characters in this fic is mine they belong to Gosho Aoyama. The only thing that's mine is the storyline. Hope you enjoy! Comments and complaints welcomed! :-)_

**Author's Note:**_ To those who read the first chapter I'm sorry it's so confusing but that's how it's suppose to be. Ran's currently feeling a turmoil of emotions and that's how I wrote it. And yes, the boy that showed up, as some of you might have guessed *is* Ran and Shinichi's future son. Anyways, here it is, as I promised the sequel. I mostly got this inspiration from Conan/Shinichi's worries of Ran that he had vocalized to the Professor during the trip to the camp site and from *Nsync's song Selfish. So read on most of all ENJOY!!! *grins*_

**Timeline:** _This takes place right before the Detective Boy's camping trip in which Conan/Shinichi was shot at Volume 25--Case 9--File9 thru 11 and entitled "The Desperate Revival: The Cavern of the Detective Boys." _

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**Deep Dreams**  
  
By: SpaceRanger

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He walked toward her purposefully and snapped his fingers causing her to look up from her brooding under the starry sky startled, when soft music began to play.

_I just don't understand_

"What are you doing here?"

_why you're running from a good man baby_

He flinched at her biting tone.

_why you wanna turn your back on love_

"What? I can't say Hi to you anymore?"

_why you've already given up_

"For all I know you'd probably be a figment of my imagination." She turned and walked away.

_see I know you've been hurt before_

"Actually, we're in a limbo." She stopped walking and he took it as an encouragement to continue.

_but I swear I'll give you so much more_

"I'm the one who drew you here so if anyone was dreaming it would be me."

_I swear I'll never let you down_

"Why?"

_cause I swear it's you that I adore_

"I missed you."

_and I can't help myself baby_

He walked toward her and laid his left hand on her right shoulder not caring that he might be tossed over her shoulder from her judo moves.

"Please..."

_cause I think about you constantly_

"...face me Ran." With a sigh she turned her head to look at him.

_and my heart gets no rest over you_

"Since we have this time..." He held out his free hand to her. "May I have this dance?"

She smiled slightly as she took his hand.

_you can call me selfish_

but all I want is your love

you can call me hopeless baby

cause I'm hopelessly in love

you can call me unperfect but who's perfect

tell me what do I gotta do

to prove that I'm the only one for you

what's wrong with being selfish

Slowly they twirled around a timeless dance, one that required no thinking. Their mind was focused on nothing but the person in front of them with their feet dancing for them in a familiar move.

_I'll be taking up your time_

'till the day I make you realize

that for you there could be no one else

I just have to have you for myself

Baby I'll take good care of you

No matter what it is you're going through

I'll be there when you're in need

baby believe in me

"Is there a significance to this song?" She asked softly, almost afraid to disturb the atmosphere.

_cause if love is a crime_

"Do you think there is?" He countered in a gentle tone.

_then punish me I will die for you_

"So there is one." He said nothing but smiled at her.

_cause I don't want to live without you_

"What reason is it that you've come to do then?" He pretended to look hurt.

_what can I do~~ ooh hoo_

"Do you think that everything I do is for a specific reason?"

_you can call me selfish_

"Yes." He laughed softly a tender look in his eyes that took her breath away.

_but all I want is your love_

"You know me too well." He linked her hands with his and she looked down at him rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

_you can call me hopeless baby_

"I remember that you liked this group when I first introduced you to their songs." She laughed melodiously as she recalled the incident.

_cause I'm hopelessly in love_

"I still do." He smiled.

_you can call me unperfect but who's perfect_

"Do you remember Marc Anthoy's songs?"

_tell me what do I gotta do_

"Of course I'd remember the first American song you introduced me to." After a slight pause she added, "I still can't believe you like these kind of songs. I thought you were more of a Rock or Pop person."

_to prove that I'm the only one for you_

"I am. I didn't start like those kind of songs until--" He stopped blushing a deep crimson red. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see that she was smiling. "Anyways, do you still like his songs?"

_what's wrong with being selfish_

"Until you hit puberty?" She teased. If it was possible his face turned a deeper shade of red. "And yes, I still like his songs too."

_why do you keep us apart_

"Then, I'm glad that I've got the right one. I may not be able to sing as well as you but I'm willing to make up for it soon."

_why won't you give up your heart_

"Oh...so you're taking singing lessons now? Who from?" He winked at her.

_you know we're meant to be together_

"You'll have to find out for yourself."

"When?"

_and why do you push me away_

"I don't know. That's up to Fate."

_all that I want is to give you love_

"At least tell me when can you come back?"

_forever and ever and ever and ever_

As the song slowly winded down he drew her close to him, as if he never wanted to let her go, which he didn't. He pulled away to look into her eyes.

_you can call me selfish_

but all I want is your love

you can call me hopeless baby

cause I'm hopelessly in love

you can call me unperfect but who's perfect

tell me what do I gotta do baby

to prove that I'm the only one for you

"I'm sorry...but I..." She placed a finger on his lips.

_what's wrong with being selfish_

"Yes. I'll wait for you."

_selfishly I'm in love with you_

cause I've searched my soul

and know that it's you

"Please I beg you. Stay safe. I...I don't know what I'd do without you."

_selfishly I'm in love with you_

cause I've searched my soul

and know that it's you

"I'll keep my end of this bargain as long as you don't get yourself killed." His lips quirked although his eyes echoed the pain as they finally drew to a stop despite the fact that the song was still playing.

_selfishly I'm in love with you_

cause I've searched my soul

and know that it's you

"That's what I have you for, especially since we're so compatible."

_to prove that I'm the only one for you _

"You flatter yourself too often." His lips pulled into a slightly bigger smile as he leaned down and kissed the back of her hand.

_so what's wrong with being selfish **(**__selfish, selfish_**)**

"Thank you for the dance."

"Thank you for being here--"

_so what's wrong with being selfish..._

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_here...here...here..._

He jerked awake and with a whisper of her name. His vision blurred as tears came to his eyes and he fought them. A wary smile crossed his face.

_You're thinking too much Kudo. _He scolded himself as he rubbed his face to knock himself back to the reality and to remove any sign of his tears at what he wish it could be.

He pulled himself out of bed glad at the fact that Ran had already left for Sonomi's house to practice her school play. He felt a ping of jealousy at the doctor that was going to kiss her in one of the scenes and shoved it away. As he got dressed he thought.

_This was all your fault. If you hadn't followed those two back at the amusement park then you wouldn't be in this predicament._ He shoved his arms into his jean jacket and shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked out. He didn't need his back pack for he had left it with the Professor the night he and Ran went to bathe at his house.

Thinking about that particular incident made him furrow his brow and he unconsciously struck a familiar pose with a his hands shaped like a check on his chin.

_Is what Ai said true? _He wondered. So deep was his thoughts that he didn't notice a box in front of him and he tripped over it.

"Oww..." He winced as he stood up glad that he caught himself before he landed on his butt.

"Are you alright?" Conan jerked his head up in surprise and saw his childhood friend, who had been looking at the CD case in her hand, sitting on the couch.

"R-Ran-nee-chan. What are you still doing here? Don't you have practice with Sonomi-nee-chan?"

"Hai demo, I don't have it until later."

"What are you doing up then?" Ran smiled sheepishly.

"My curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to listen to this CD Shinichi left at my door step."

"Shinichi-nii-chan was here?!" He asked flinging surprise. He struggled not to fidget at the intense gaze Ran was giving him that seemed too...knowing, as if she knew who he was.

"I suppose so." She said slowly as she played with the seal of the transparent cover over the CD case. Conan gulped mentally as he looked at his watch.

"Well, you better get going Ran-nee-chan. You're going to be late." Ran smiled slightly as she gathered her books.

"You're breakfast in on the table. Have fun on your trip."

"I will! Take care Ran-nee-chan!" He called with cheerfulness. As soon as he heard her leave he breathed out a deep sigh of relief but he couldn't help but be troubled but her last words to him.

_"Stay safe Shinichi."_

He watched her leave through her father's office window and he wondered again,

_Is Haibara Ai right? Has my identity really been revealed?_

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_A/N: BTW, I'm thinking of adding one more chapter to this and it'll be the end of Deep. If I do it'll be after Shinichi's return to being a Conan again which you can find in Volume 36--Case 3--File 1 thru 7. Again, comments and complaints welcome._


	3. Deep Reflection

**DISCLAIMER: **_None of the characters in this fic is mine they belong to Gosho Aoyama. The only thing that's mine is the storyline. Hope you enjoy! Comments and complaints welcomed! :-)_

**Author's Note:**_ My muses think that I like torturing them. But I don't! Really! *gives everyone an innocent look.* Oh and if you guys would recall, I told you about Shinichi's Revival being in Volume 36. That is wrong, the correct volume is Volume 26. Thanks goes to Choco_cat7 for point out that mistake._

**Timeline:** _This takes place right after Shinichi's return to being a Conan again. You can find this in Volume 26--Case 3--File 1 thru 7 and entitled "Shinchi's Revival." _

**Deep Reflection**  
  
By: SpaceRanger

_That's *IT*! I can't take it anymore._ Stifling a yell of irritation because of his sleeplessness--mostly due to all the flashbacks of his stupidity on not being faster with his deduction--Conan tossed away his blanket and climbed out of bed. He straightened the pajamas and searched for the glasses he had left on the table before he headed to the door.

As quietly as he could he opened it, wincing at the squeak that came with it when he did so. Conan stuck his head out and looked around. He walked past Mouri Kogoro's room without bothering to peek in. The idiot was probably knocked out with a hangover that would greet him after all the beer he drank before he went to bed. The only one he had to be careful about was _hers_.

After checking her doorway for any sound of movement, Conan snuck out of his current residence and headed upstairs to the roof. Lately, this was the only place that he could come to brood, alone. His former one had been taken over by Haibara and her brooding always made him feel less assured about things.

"Baka! Why couldn't you just have told her?" He muttered to himself. He forced his tears away as he stuck his hand in his pockets and glanced across the city.

_You got your wish, a day with her as Shinichi and you blew it. Haibara warned you but would you listen nooo..._ He bit his lips as he remembered the expression on her face. _Why couldn't my body hold out longer? I was so close..._ He laughed bitterly while trying not to awaken the residents in the rooms below..

"So close yet so far." He answered out loud. He rubbed his face and grew annoyed when the glasses he wore hindered him. _How does dad do this?_ Conan tugged his glasses off and set it carefully at the ledge.

_God I'm so damn tired of this!_ He thought as he glared down at his puny, weak hands and clinched it into fists. _Why can't I stay normal? Why couldn't my body hold out with Ai's capsule? Why couldn't I have just ignored those men in black?_ He glanced back at his glasses and it took all his will power to prevent himself from snatching it up and throwing it as hard as he could off the roof.

_Granted, it wouldn't help but...at least it'll make me feel better._ He sighed hunched his shoulders and looked down at his feet while letting his hands fall to his side, no longer balled up into fists.

_What's even worse is what I did to Ran. She must hate me now._ A bitter smile showed up on his wry face.

_I should have done what Professor Agasa told me to do on my birthday, tell her._ He clinched his fist again wishing there was a way to seriously damage himself without Ran noticing in the morning. Thinking about it led him to recalled the dream, vision, limbo, whatever it was that he had the night he suspect that she knew who he was.

_I can't believe I told her that I liked music like Rock or Pop. Unlike Sherlock Holmes, Music is one of my weakness. The only reason I even kept up with the music was the lyrics._ He remembered the case of he had done with the "Detective Boys" which he had mentally labeled, "Case of Two-Mix's Kidnapping." It was only because of that episode that he started going through all the lyrics he could. Just in case something like that happened again. Then, both of the singers offered to teach him how to sing._ Although Takayami Minami did most of the teaching since we have the same voice._ He thought with a half-hearted chuckle. He hated to admit it but it was thanks to them that he's even finding music fun. Although...he didn't plan on doing anything with it.

_Except to make a magical moment like the one in my dream._ He paused in thought, frowning slightly. _Which was...strange. Sometimes I could have sworn I heard her thoughts in my mind. Like when I was staring into her eyes._ He brushed away the thought with a shrug.

_There's no way that could have happened neither of us have telepathy._ He paused, pursing his lips as he ran through that possibility again._ Demo, it is a limbo after all, so it could happen._ He shook his head.

_Either way, I surprised her by doing all that in my dreams including giving her that CD._ He smiled slyly while mentally brushing away the little questioning voice that asked why he liked to spite her. _It'll be fun to surprise her and show off my new skill just to prove her that I don't have a "Tin Ear" when I return to my true size--If ever._ Sighing, he lifted his head up to looked across the bright lights of Tokyo.

_Demo...why can't I just tell her now? She knew...despite everything she knew... who I really was._ He didn't know if he should be relived that she did. Again he recalled what Hattori told him. _"Maybe she's just waiting for you to tell her."_

He fought back tears but sat down near the edges of the apartment, the burden once again falling heavily on his shoulders so to speak. _That's just it Ran...I can't tell you. It's better that you don't know what kind of trouble I got into. By not doing so I'd unwittingly cause you to sign an early death warrant. Knowing you, you'd probably jump into the bullet intended for me._ The bright lights blurred and he quickly blinked it away.

He remembered the injuries Haibara had gotten and the number of bullets that had been fired into her body. The worst of it was hearing the bullet enter her flesh and knowing that there was nothing he could do to prevent them. _If I was that panicky with her then I would have just launched myself at him without a thought if they came Ran. After that episode with Haibara I wouldn't be surprised to find myself shot down or hit by someone I didn't notice in my fury._

His eyes narrowed in the anger that came from that mission and the rage of such a possible thing that could happen.

"You're too important to me Ran. I won't stand to let the same thing that happened to Haibara happen to you...Even if I have die a million times for to prevent it." He picked up the glasses and set it on his face.

Unknown to the young detective, someone was there... That someone could see his glasses flashed into mirrors so that they couldn't see any expression on his face. Yet, as he turned and walked back into the apartment, they still caught the silent water droplet that rolled down his face. This spectator felt a painful tug inside as she watched his small form disappear from her line of sight.

_Shinichi..._

_A/N: Let's see, where should I start? Oh yeah, "The Case of Two-Mix's Kidnapping" came from volume 15--File 4 to File 6. Also, GreyRose, I knew of Shinchi/Conan's handicap with music. It was stated in that Case I mentioned before but, thanks for pointing that out. I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed this fic and to encourage Ysabet on hers. If you haven't read it I urge you to do so. You don't know what your missing if you don't. As for that certain someone, she's not hard to figure out. I'll give you guys one guess on who that spectator is.  
BTW, This should be the end of "Deep" but don't be surprised if you find another chapter is added to it sometime in the future. Thanks to all the songs I download from Detective Conan, I've might include some more angsty fic or two depending if the ideas ever form into an actual writing or if I actually find some of the Volumes, Cases, and/or Movies (other then the first movie I read that one from a Manga instead of watching it) that I haven't read yet.  
Then again, it might just be a separate thing altogether. *shrugs* Who knows with musings and music--especially with Conan's Movie Theme songs. You'd think that they're trying to make you cry instead of giving you a happy ending, so to speak. But then that's how I feel from the beat since I don't understand the words. Well, except the occasional English words the Japanese love to put in their songs. Again comments and complains welcomed! So until next time: "Adieus" Minna! *waves before fading away like a ghost.*_

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_(Disclaimer: Adieus is the property of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's character, Sherlock Holmes)_


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